Richard. Yes. Thank you, it’s cashmere, my Mom got it for me for Christmas. You have such good taste for a 4th-gen dictation bot. I agree, it fits perfectly snug. Yes. I’m ready. Begin the recording of the 5th installment of the Weekly Burn:
Hello dear Readers and keepers of the eternal flame, oh how I’ve missed you. We’re back to start our first full calendar year as a piping white-hot factory of trans-media bar-raising industry defining watershed moment pumping redeemer of man’s past sins company. To say that we’re excited about what this year has to bring would be an absurdist understatement the likes of which I cannot find an analogous comparison in the English language for, and thusly instead of reaching with a tissue soft attempt, I will instead move laterally in subject. I shouldn’t have said “we’re BACK.” Not only did we never leave, we also only know how to move FORWARD. And in keeping with this cannonball of an entrance into 2016 I’d like to share with you a quick story of an event that transpired yesterday:
Here at 451, all we do is put out fire. That well crafted “story-food” for your “mind-belly.” However, to close out 2015, I happened to also be feeding my “body-belly” with excessive quantities of “food-fat.” This, and a prolonged stretch of keeping my heart-rate maxed out right around “resting” had contributed to a sincere need for a long-term fitness regiment to begin. It being a new year, I was at a gym next to the arclight cinema in Hollywood yesterday, just a stone’s throw away from the Fire Station aka 451’s west coast headquarters. When, all of a sudden, while on the treadmill all of the lights went out at once. Luckily the machines must run on a separate generator, or something, so there were no reported injuries, everyone’s machines kept going. For 30 seconds everyone just kept moving in silence. Then about 5 trainers ran in with wildly swinging flashlights screaming, “EVERYONE OUT, EVERYONE OUT, THERE IS A FIRE IN THE BUILDING EVACUATE NOW!!!” So I was like woah, hold up, I’m not even scared because this building is mostly visible cinderblocky stone stuff and the garage next to us is all concrete, I’m thinking no way I’ll need to Jason Bourne my own exit out of the opposite facing window into a perfect barrel roll pose stall that everyone would laud me a hero for life for, but I could if I needed to. So I follow the trainers instructions and go outside. I realize that this is a disaster caused by the flooding going on resulting from these cray cray storms LA has been getting showered with, and the power is probably not going to get restored to this building anytime soon. My laptop is in my locker in the gym, and I need that to write this to talk with you guys, the Readers! So I find a real brave looking personal trainer outside and I say, “Yo bro, my wallets keys and laptop are in my locker, this might take hours to get back in if we don’t go now, and if there really is a fire I can’t have my laptop perish in the flame. Not now.” So he looks at me with eyes that are like, “true, true, I can get with this mission, it’s on us now” and he says, “let’s go.” So we are running through the pitch black gym via flashlight until I get to my locker and get my stuff. Just as I get my stuff one of the stairway doors flies open and it’s a bunch of firefighters with masks on and smoke is billowing out behind them. They start screaming at me to get out, then other personal trainers start screaming up to us, “Edgar, why the hell would you bring someone back into a burning building, you [expletive] idiot.”
So, short story long, I got all my stuff and was the only person that got to drive away from the scene when they wanted. I was ready to be burnt to an absolutely crispy piece of expiration if that’s what it took to write this news update to you guys. You are the Readers, you are all me and my dictation robot Richard need. However… now that I think about it Richard, did you say my sweater looked snug as a burn?? Don’t forget I can turn you off you cowardly little toaster freak.
Anyway… Let’s get to the news regarding 451 Media Group’s newest releases and how the Earthling consumers received our offerings. First off, we have Reading with a Flight Ring’s review of Sunflower #2. This is one of my favorite reviews as I couldn’t possibly agree with it anymore than I do. In their words, “As we get to the end of the issue I was taken aback at what we see. Surely no one could have expected this twist to come along. Here I thought we were just getting a story about one woman’s emotional journey and growth and instead we seem to be getting that and so much more. Though I have to wonder if CJ can see past or through her anger long enough to question the things happening around her so she’s not caught up in Rush’s web.” Hey, for CJ’s sake I hope so too! Thanks for the great write-up guys, look for huge things out of Sunflower in 2016!
Next up we have quite a lot to talk up regarding Clay McLeod Chapman’s Self Storage. Not only has the word of mouth been so satisfying, but critics have written really really wonderful things. The people over at Horror Talk actually interviewed Clay and a fellow creative over here at 451, Joe Grano, at our launch event at New York Comic Con. Find that here, and thanks again for taking the time to speak with us!
Adventures in collecting got in on the action and reviews the third issue of Self Storage #3, in stores now, and right out the gate they write, “Issue number 3 is here and this continues to be a must read book.” And then close with, “Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.” So glad you guys agree and thanks so much for reading!
Over at Caped Nerd Crusader the reviewer added a caveat to his review: “**This was named my pick of the week. I like when smaller brands put out a great story with nice clean artwork. I don't normally read black and white, so for this one to make it on my pull list should say a lot.” It does say a great deal guys, thanks!
Over at Pop Culture Headquarters they decided to put their coveted Comic Book Spotlight on Self storage #3. Thanks for including the preview pages guys!
Hold on, all this Self Storage talk is making me a little hungry. I’m going to go down and make a snack right quick and… Quiet Richard, I didn’t ask you to list my resolutions… Fine. I’m going to finish this first and then get a snack but not because my sweater is snug or because you printed out something that says, “print this out for me if I’m breaking my resolutions by taking a break to get a snack.” You’re a real chump sometimes Richard.
Anyway back to the praise: Over at Comicsheatingup.net Self Storage #3 is their indy pick of the week. Of the title they said, “I’m loving this. The story flows well and the art is great. What more do you need? Tony coined the term “Storage Wars meets Walking Dead” and 451 is running with that themselves.” Much love to Tony too!
Finally before we move on from Self Storage we have the fantastically discerning Comic Crusaders reviewing the latest: “This remains a 5 star book. There has been no dip in quality since the first page of issue one. Outstanding book.” You know what, you’re a 6 star reviewer and we can’t thank you enough for taking the time to read our books!
Moving on to our monster mash smash splash of a book Exmortis, we have Javier at Graphic Policy weighing in. After picking the book as one of his favorites of the week Javier says, “Monsters unite to fight the first True Monster: Hitler. Good old fashioned WW II action with a Frankenstein versus Nazis twist; and a werewolf, too, thrown in for good measure.“ We had to make sure our werewolf for good measure box was checked. Thanks!
Once again our good friends over at adventuresincollecting.net have written their praises for one of our books. These guys have been great to us and I really want to offer a sincere thank you, sending a super-sonic-speed-psy-high-five through my mind your way now. They also make mention of our great new book Humbug, on sale now, “451 continue their stellar run of must buy comics once again. Humbug was fantastic last week and this week sees the second issue of Exmortis hit stores."
Getting back to the fine folks at Pop Culture HQ again, they also put the spotlight on Exmortis #2. Thanks for highlighting the trailer we shot for the book too, we are quite proud of how great that came out. Pop Culture HQ is simply killing it out here.
Over at Great Comic Book Thoughts they compile the best quotes in comics. They pulled two from S6x #2 after a book that they describe as, “pure suspense and action.” Thanks guys, we keep the suspense and action as pure as the substances of which the cartel distributes. Never cut, never stepped on, strictly that fire.
The review that was written over at Comicsverse for Humbug #1 was one of my favorite. They gave the A and J Gentile helmed project 4/5 stars in every category. Thanks so much guys!
Pop Culture HQ put another one of their informative and attractive spotlights out regarding Humbug #1. Thanks so much guys, we rely on Readers like you to carry the torch for independent comic making, and it couldn’t be in safer hands.
Over at indiepulse.com Paul Miranda put Humbug #1 on his pull list. Many thanks Paul, we promise the story is just starting.
Okay okay, damn it, I need my snack! We’ll never have any time for eating if all we ever do is read the great reviews of our books. If we never eat than we’ll never have time to create them, Richard. And then if we never have time to create them then we’ll never have money to buy snacks to eat for fuel to make the comics. Don’t you see what you’ve done here, Richard!! You’ve started a chicken-or-the-egg paradox involving the creation of 451 Media Group and the universe itself! Do you realize what you’ve done!! Wait why is my arm dissap….
To Be Continued…
No, you don’t think so Richard? Not a funny enough time-paradox-joke? Not enough hard science? I think you’re right. But I’m going to leave it up there, because I really do need that snack. Till next time Readers, may your dreams become realities and the superpower you choose for yourself be used in a plot-driven, character-centric, thematic, responsible way.