451 'Weekly Burn' #3

November 10, 2015

 

 

 

What's cookin' good lookin'?

 

(Answer: The Readers' hands and eyes, third degree style, from these incendiary devices we've been selling under the pseudonym "comic books")

 

Over here in the Imagination Oven (no one calls the office that, yet) we just did a Pizza Friday. I just did three slicie boys no prob, I can still put down whole 'zas like a light snack. I'm considering dropping in on that pepperoni joint for number four, but I wanted to write this third weekly burn first. (edit: this didn't come out Friday because I didn't stop at 4 slices. Do as I say, not as I do). While those first three slices shake hands in my stomach, I'm going to get you, the Readers, the inside track on our happening happenings; a review of our reviews if you will.

 

Before we get to that though... I would be remiss not to mention that I'm next-level tempted to put the pizza place that just delivered us two pies, instead of the requested three, on super-blast. They brought the sausage pie (which had a nice pesto spread), they remembered the 'roni piece, but this society of sauce-clowns forgot the plain cheese. I'm not going to put them on hyper-blast though, because we don't give out shine like that, even to our enemies (or our enemies' enemies, whom contrary to popular phrasing we don't consider friends, but a different class of enemy). If you want to get mentioned by the Weekly Burn you better be spreading the truth of the 451 wildfire, trying to contain it is a fool's errand, and will only leave you burned. GET OUR PIZZA ORDERS RIGHT!!

 

So, without further ado, Dictation Robot (whom I'm now considering nicknaming Richard), let's update the righteous Readers on the haps. This week saw the release of Exmortis #1 written by the Williams Brothers, while our previous three releases are still impacting Earth like a mega-meteor: As in a celestial mega-body even bigger than Earth smashing into Earth, and leaving Earth destroyed as if it were a literal, and not metaphorical, marble.

 

Let's start things off with a review of Self Storage #1. In the olden days the indigenous people of the planet venerated the STARS. They had an understanding that these mystical floating and fixed lights which returned every night were dictating their experiences in some way. Centuries later humans still venerate stars, but our consciousness has moved closer to home, so we venerate stars of sport, music, and film. I say that to this, in all human history what has been more important than STARS? Nothing is the answer. So if you are out here getting getting stars you would probably want to max out, no? Well that's exactly what Clay McLeod Chapman did last week, with a 5/5 pentagram score frmo the Comic Crusaders! 

 

From the Crusaders: "As soon as I saw this cover I wanted to read this book and once I read the synopsis it made me want to read it even more. Sadly it’s only 6 issues but if the next 5 are as good as issue 1 fingers crossed it’ll be getting a second series. I cannot wait to read issue 2. This one slides easily into my hall of fives with 5 solid stars."

 

Hope you have a lot of room on your hall's walls. 451 is going to need it's own wing soon my dude. 

 

Next up I want to go a bit off the beaten path of blogs and websites and hit the message boards. Like I always remind you guys, the only people we care about are the READERS. As far as the lawyers, highwaymen, politicians, lobbyists, used car-salesmen, experimental surgeons, interpretive dancers etc. We don't care about any of them if they aren't READERS first. So when we cruise the message boards and see a user like RocknRolla putting in the effort to help the fire spread, we get a feeling of joy like no other.

 

"451 Media Group: High Quality books with low print runs, good art and great stories. Spearheaded by Michael Bay and using Touchcode technology from T+ink, the ink used in the printing process will enable readers to use their touch-screen-enabled devices to unlock exclusive content. These books are being sold out weeks before their release dates. From the series I have read so far, it seems obvious that some of these stories will eventually move to the big screen."

 

Thanks RocknRolla, we'll figure out who you are and get you a shirt, or a hat, or something you want. Because you Rock!! 

 

Next up we have the always rad folks over at Comicbookscalping

 

These speculators agree that 451 keeps hitting them out of the park. We'd really like to thank you guys for consistently highlighting our work.  May the mylar bags you preserve our words with stay vacuum-sealed, and the creases on your comics be undone by the graphical botox that comes from the ageless Demi-God known as the one true Thought-Bubble. Bonus points for highlighting our next book, SIX, written by The Wire's George Pelacanos, in stores November 18.

 

The great folks over at Comicsheatingup.net kept it short and sweet regarding ExMortis #1, "Bringing dead soliders back to life? Yes please..." We agree with you wholeheartedly Agent Poyo. At the same time, for liability reasons, if you spit up your mineral water after seeing the awesome art inside, 451 Media Group is not liable for any suede sneaker discoloration.

 

Another website involved in the "stack-that-cash" lifestyle that is comic book investing, comicbookinvest.com, had some great things to say about us for the second week in a row!

 

"It’s a good time to be an indie comic publisher, it would seem … Last week 451 comics won for the second week in a row! If you’d told me that a month ago I’d say what’s a 451 comic? Indie books are taking off, question is will they have a long-term market?"

 

Thanks for reminding your peeps about us guys! To answer your question about duration: How does 451 define long-term? We consider every single Reader that reads one of our books to be entering into a, "till death do us part" arranged-marriage style commitment. Our goal every time we hit print on the printer is to get these books to your/our great-great-grandchildren as the tomes on which they base their lives, and further use them as the framework for building relationships with their fellow humans. 451 expects to be the Easter Island / Stonehenge of late-capitalism. People will read ExMortis #1 and think, "Gee gosh, Poppa Zanthander IV, the humans of the third millennium AD were so kewl and bright and only had two legs. I'm so happy we found their books perfectly preserved under the Old York Pyramids of Man-Hat-And." In other words: Way long term.

 

First off, Horror Sexy? If that isn't a website that needs to be talking about 451 I don't know what is. Sure, our books may horrify you, but then you think to yourself, ooo, wait, just hold on a second while I think about this, I'm flush, do I kind of like danger? Is intelligent storytelling and gorgeous comic art sexy? Am I cheating on Self Storage with ExMortis? Do they both kind of like that? Do I feel sexy just thinking about how much the answer to all those questions is a big huge yes? Reader, you're far too sexy for any other publishers ;)

 

Thanks for featuring us guys!!

 

How about Reading With A Flight Ring We've featured their features before. What did they have to say about 451 this week? 
 

"Alright so I’m completely enthralled by this company they could be the best new company of 2015.  This time around we’ve got the Williams brothers being adapted by Andi and it’s one of those concepts that we see re-emerge time and again and it’s as thrilling each time we see it.  However in this incarnation things aren’t going to be familiar like you are used to.  Nope this one is much better done than anything else i’ve seen similarly." 
 

Thank you so much. We create so you can consume. It is true, we are the best company of 2015, but it feels so wonderful hearing it from the READERS!!! I did a very cool upper-cut into the air after I read this review, it was in slow motion. I think onlookers thought it was rad by their whispers and pointing fingers. 

 

What about our favorite video blogger TorAthena? Isn't she just so freaking cool Readers? She made ExMortis #1 her pick of the week!! Huge honor, and a billion thanks. Words don't really do justice for how much we appreciated how Tor pitched our book to her viewers, you really captured what we love about the book! 
 

 

 

 

Last but not least here is another review of how soon-to-be-stuff-of-legend book, SUNFLOWER, from the guys at comic spectrum

 

"...to Mallouk’s credit he manages to assemble these common elements into an intriguing story and I came to the end of this first issue wanting more.  I’m on board for this story, I want to see where Mallouk takes me, it should be an interesting ride." 
 

I know where Mark is taking you. I agree that you should follow. But if you find yourself checking under your bed before you go to sleep for months after reading, don't blame... well, I guess blame us. We are fine with that. 

 

Dictation Robot, that is enough for now. We will be back soon with the rest of the news. So now, Dictation robot, I know I said I didn't want any more pizza but if you could just pull up the best reviewed within a 10 mile radius that would be great. No, I'm not going to stop and get any on the way home, I still need to clean this up and get it out today. If I stop there on the way home I'll probably eat pizza until Monday morning, nah I'm not gunna do that. But... just pull up the menus anyway, just so I can read them, sometimes they are good reads. 

 

(Edit: I'm sorry, I was eating pizza until this morning. See you soon Reader!!) 

 

 

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